Where the Hell is Wendover anyway?
Dave Gess

DATELINE: TEAM ELVES WORLD HEADQUARTERS   
WENDOVER, UTAH/NEVADA  9/20/2000

Wendover, or more correctly West Wendover is the base of operations for out assault on land speed records.  It is just weird enough for the task.  The salt flats are about 10 miles east of here right next to I-80.

This joint has about 2000 residents and 42 casinos.  Actually they only have 5, it just seems like 42 ‘cause they all have 14 signs out front.  None better than ours however, the giant spastic cowboy spitting up on the hotel roof. 

All the casinos advertise the big payouts but the town has 3 pawnshops so you know that somebody is missing those big paydays.

Outside the casino there is not much here.  You’ve got your selection of drive-thru restaurants and something that resembles a grocery store.  Even a bank.  Of course, with the exception of the casinos, all the buildings look like they arrive on the truck yesterday.  The whole town could have been put up in about 48 hours with a truck full of prefab pieces and a nail gun. 

Now the State Line Hotel and Casino seems pretty cool from the get go ‘cause they have Don Vesco’s 500 mph streamliner in the lobby.  Then you walk to the elevators. Before you get there however you hit the slots.  Man oh man it is like Chuck e Cheese for adults.  The lights are flashing and the bells are ringing and people are sitting there with a glazed look you can only get when you are in the throes of a serious addiction.  I actually saw one geriatric fellow wired to the slot machine.  He had one of those hospital alarm cords clipped to his belt with the other end clipped to the machine.  I don’t know if he was wired up so the hotel would know if he keeled over or what but he sure looked like he could go at any minute.

That’s the skinny on Wendover, tomorrow we go out and try to confirm our record.

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